The Gift of Singleness?

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”  James 1:17 (NKJV)

I love giving and receiving presents. There is nothing like the expression on a loved one’s face as they open something that you took time to pick out just for them; or the joy you feel when you open a gift that was chosen specifically with you in mind. Gifts speak to the relationship between the giver and the receiver.

That is why I was certain I had heard wrong as I sat in a Christian meeting some years ago and heard the phrase “the gift of singleness” for the first time. I was incredulous and I know it registered all over my face. In my head all kinds of bells, whistles and alarms were sounding off.

“Come again, Mr Speaker?” I thought to myself, “Surely you see what an oxymoron that is!” I do not remember anything that happened after that point. I sat through the rest of the service in stunned silence. Later, back at home, I drifted off to sleep still mulling over the words that to me seemed as compatible as oil and water.

I should probably mention that at this point in my life I was in my early 20s and I had just ‘endured’ the first of many rounds of a majority in my circle of friends getting married. Don’t get me wrong, I was truly happy for all of them, but not so happy for me. I felt overlooked and being left behind. I also felt a profound sense of  loneliness and rejection’. Suffice it to say that I was feeling anything BUT “gifted.”

In the weeks that followed, that phrase, “the gift of singleness” continued to plague me. Nothing about the prospect of being single for the rest of my life could be considered a gift… No matter how I looked at it I could not find anything positive in being single. How could this be a gift?  Most important, what did this gift say about the relationship between the Giver and me?

I have grown quite a bit since that time though I still have moments when I can’t see anything “gifty” (my own word!) about singleness. For the most part I am content, because I got a different perspective of the Giver. You see, all the time that I was thinking God was keeping something from me, it turns out He was actually keeping me from something. If I had taken some of the opportunities that came my way; if I had leaned on my own understanding and trusted my own wisdom… I shudder at the thought!

My encouragement to you who are wondering what your singleness says about how God feels about you is to rest in the knowledge that you are the apple of God’s eye (Ps 17:8; Zech 2:8). Know that you are so precious in His sight that he cannot allow you to be with just anyone for the sake of being married. He is saving you for someone special. In the mean time you belong to the one who is most Special of all! It may not always feel like it, but singleness is in fact a gift from a loving Father to his precious daughter.

Blessings to you!