Welcome to our first Leadership Series Q & A!

Over the past weeks as we’ve been leadership chatting, I’ve been asked some questions via email or comments. Since I’ve received some questions multiple times, today I’m going to address the most popular questions. Next Friday we will tackle the next set.

Let’s do this thing!

Q: What challenges do you face as a leader?

A: My biggest challenge as a leader is dealing with the (sometimes) unrealistic expectations placed on me. When you’re at the forefront of any ministry or leadership position, people seek you out.

There can be a constant demand for your time. I find it important to set up clear boundaries, stick to them myself, not allow other’s expectations to become my own, learn to say no and ultimately rest in the knowledge that God has got this thing under control.

Q: How do you get refreshed as a leader?

A: I’m pretty confident those of you who asked this question are well aware of the 24/7 nature of leadership! It can be so tiring. For me, personally, to combat weariness in leadership, I do the following things:

• Meditate on Scripture on the topic of leadership. Right now, I’m doing a study by Kay Arthur on rising to the call of leadership that has me walking through 1 & 2 Samuel. It is challenging me and encouraging me. The Word ALWAYS refreshes when we approach it to grow. By studying how to be a stronger leader, I am rectifying problems before they even have time to sink their roots in! That is refreshing in & of itself.
• Schedule downtime. At the start of 2010 I decided that I was not going to work on the weekends and (for the most part!) I haven’t. This helps me enjoy my off days without deadlines looming over my head. Some of you may lead on the weekends, so schedule a day during the week where you can sit back, drink your favorite hot beverage and relax with a magazine. (I happen to know one I highly recommend!)
• Lead with excellence. It may sound ridiculous that I find refreshment as a leader while leading, but I do. When I am leading my team to the best of my ability, following the Lord with my all and offering Exemplify’s readership with the most excellent resources I can make available at this time, I find myself refreshed! I’m doing what I was made to do and doing it how I was made to do it. Nothing feels better than that!
• Have some fun! Pretty self-explanatory! Enjoy your team, enjoy your leadership, enjoy your job.

Q: What are your thoughts on nurturing friendships as a leader?

A: It is especially hard to be friends with those you lead. There’s a delicate balance needed of camaraderie as well as respected authority which can be tricky. As leaders, I think we need to be mindful of our relationships, pray over the interaction we have with our team and make sure we foster an atmosphere of inclusiveness.

On the other hand, I think it is VITAL to have friendships outside of your leadership role. Just because we are leaders certainly doesn’t mean we don’t want to go shopping with our girlfriends! I try to remember in my friendships that unless my leadership is sought out, it shouldn’t be forced.

Am I a leader? Yes. Do my friends want me leading everything we do? No.

Q: How do you know when God is calling you to step back & rest?

A: While this has not happened to me quite yet, I do have some warning signs I make sure to look for, in case I do need to step back for a season of purposed rest.

They are:

• If I’m neglecting my first & foremost ministry (which would be the people who make up my home). In my case, that would be my husband. If my husband or I felt I was neglecting our marriage because of my leadership role, I’d step back.
• If I’m overwhelmed to the point of calling it quits. Anytime a serious extreme like this comes into play, I think we are wise to step back and take a season of rest before making a drastic decision. Seek God in the quiet before you go announcing things in the loud.
• If He {God} flat out says it. If God says it’s time for some rest, it is time for some rest.

I will be doing another round of Leadership Q & A’s next week.

So, if you have a question you’d like to see answered

feel free to leave it in the comments or email me at exemplify @ me (dot) com.

If you asked a question that was not yet answered, it will be in the coming weeks.

Welcome to the Lessons in Leadership Series! To get caught up, click here.

***

Let’s talk ideas today. Serving in a leadership position of any kind more often than not means you will be able to implement new ideas for the betterment of your business, ministry, home or group.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: I am an idea person. I love coming up with new ideas, hearing new ideas, embracing new ideas, learning about new ideas, setting aside parts of my week to dream about new ideas . . . Well, you get the picture.

My current favorite quote is about this very thing.

“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.” ~George Bernard Shaw

The Lord has wired me to love the exchange of ideas.

In leadership the question we ask ourselves should not be Is this a good idea? but Is this an idea worth pursuing?

There is a big difference between the two.

A few years ago I did a study on the life of Nehemiah. You’re probably familiar with his story in Scripture. Nehemiah hears this horrible report on the state of Jerusalem and the people of God and is distraught. He weeps, mourns, fasts and prays for days confessing the sins of Israel.

For days Nehemiah humbles himself before the Lord. And then suddenly in verse 11 of chapter 1 we see a turn in the prayer. It goes from mourning to mission.

Nehemiah prays, “make Your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man.”  What man is that? Well, verse 11 goes on to say, “[Nehemiah] was cupbearer to the king.”

What exactly was Nehemiah asking the Lord to make successful? Chapter 2 answers that question.

Nehemiah says to the king, “”If it pleases you and if your servant has found favor in your sight, send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it.”

Ladies, this is huge. This means that while Nehemiah was praying after first hearing about the state of his beloved city, the Lord began to give him a vision – an idea, if you will – to head on out and rebuild it.

The part we need to zoom in on? Nehemiah waited on the Lord before jumping into this vision.

So often we get great ideas, ideas that even have major potential for ministry, but if we are not waiting on the Lord to bring those ideas/visions to life . . . we might as well wrap it up now and call it a day.
How do we know when an idea is from the Lord? When it is worth our pursuit?

After an idea strikes, I ask myself the following six things as I wait on Him for confirmation:

• Am I in God’s will?
• Am I doing the work God has called me specifically to?
• Am I seeking God’s ways?
• Am I walking in accordance to God’s Word?
• Am I offering “whatever & everything I do” for God’s glory?
• Am I dressed in the wardrobe of worship? See Colossians 3:12-14

If we want to be women who serve God and His kingdom effectively and excellently, these questions need to be asked.

How do you know if that awesome idea you have is worth pursuing?

Answering these six questions as you wait on the Lord – just as Nehemiah – may just start you out on the right track.

Next week, let’s talk about ideas we do get the definite go-ahead with just like Nehemiah did and how to go about implementing them with excellence.

I can’t wait! This is, after all, my most favorite topic.

Welcome to the Lessons in Leadership Series!

We talked about 3 enemies of excellence involving pride last week. This week we are tackling two more enemies of excellence before we get to the good stuff!

Can you recall the first 3 enemies?

Pride, perfectionism and complacency.

Your challenge last week was to pay close attention to any areas of patterned pride in your leadership. And to confide in a friend or mentor who you could trust to pray with and for you.

This week let’s look at the next two profound challenges we should readily recognize as leaders:

• Working outside our giftedness
• Lack of boundaries

If you tuned in to my Embedding Excellence session at the Ministry: Online! AWI conference you may have heard me share a story about the time I served in a church nursery. And failed big time.

I was at the church to research a bible study I was writing and instead ended up praying for the Lord to spare my life in the nursery one long winter night. (I’m only half kidding!)

Was I capable of it? Yes! Am I gifted for it? No.

Often instead of examining if we are working within our giftedness, we ask if we are working inside our capabilities.

I am capable of cutting down a tree if need be, this doesn’t mean I should quit my job and become a lumber jack!

The same goes for any areas of leadership in ministry.

This one gets a bit tricky because so many of us simply want to serve! Yet when we jump into a position we are not spiritually gifted for the Body as a whole suffers. There is a place for you in the ministry of the church. Every believer is spiritually gifted!

Ask yourself, if you are already serving in ministry, if you are working in a position you are simply capable of doing or one you are gifted to do?

Chances are you can look to your passion for the position you are serving in to gauge the answer of this.

More often than not, what fires us up and gets us excited to serve, is where our spiritual gifts live.

Leaders need to know their gifting because if we don’t know where we serve best, we will end up serving everywhere.

Stop. Read the above sentence again.

Did you catch the significance of that statement? It’s in our nature. You and I? We are going to lead. We were born for it. The question is, are we going to lead where we are called to lead?

I shared in my session the following example.

I’m an idea person. I am at my best when I am leading, teaching or sketching out a vision for something new in ministry.

If you were to ask me to lead a prayer team that weekly meets on behalf of the Church, honestly? I wouldn’t thrive. Sure, I would do it. I am capable of praying, obviously. But I know myself and I would have to drag myself to that prayer meeting each and every week. It would never be something I was passionate about on a regular basis.

Now if you signed my husband up for that same prayer group? You’d have a man on fire for his Church and the people of God. He’s probably get there early just so he could prepare his heart and mind for the meeting.

That is the power of working inside our giftedness.

It is the difference between mediocrity and excellence.

Lack of boundaries is also a big challenge in leadership. A BIG challenge.

Leadership means daily interaction with people. Whether they be ministry team members, co-workers, book club ladies or a sewing group you head up.

We need to be wise about the boundaries we set up early on. Pray with purpose on guidelines for your leadership.

Ask yourself:

• How much access am I willing to give those I serve?
• How much time will I spend mentoring in person?
• Answering the phone? Email?
• What will my “work” hours be?
• In what ways can I serve effectively without burning out?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that those you lead will automatically respect your boundaries! Often times you are going to have to enforce the boundaries you set in place.

There are days when every question that I get asked does not get answered. If I were to answer every single email I get, I’d never see my husband! One of the best decisions I made in the last year was setting up office hours for Exemplify as a ministry. It has helped me have a clear beginning and ending to my work day. If I didn’t adhere to a schedule, I’d burn out fast. (This is not the easiest thing to do. As a matter of fact, I have two awesome friends who hold me accountable and tell me to shut it down when I’ve worked longer than I should.)

Hear me when I say: boundaries are not only healthy, they are necessary.

Ultimately by setting up clear boundaries you are able to serve more freely.

***

This week I want to challenge you to examine where it is you serve in leadership. Are you passionate about your position? If not, maybe you have taken on too much and need to realign your leadership priorities.

Also, write down some clear boundaries for the areas you lead. Yes, your blog counts! If you consider your blog an avenue of ministry, I highly encourage you to jot down the mission of your blog and three or four boundaries you feel will best help you serve your readers.

Next week we’re going to do something fun. I promise!

Welcome to the Lessons in Leadership Series!

We touched last week on the top 5 enemies of excellence.

• Pride
• Perfectionism
• Complacency
• Working outside our giftedness
• Lack of boundaries

Your challenge last week was to identify the enemy of excellence you most struggle with. Some of you did a shout out in the comment section on your biggest struggle. I loved getting to hear the whys and hows behind your own leadership.

I’ve talked publicly before about the biggest enemy of excellence for me: perfectionism. For those of us who err on the side of workaholic, I think this particular enemy is the worst. Thankfully, once we’ve identified which enemy we tend to gravitate toward, it is easy to begin the steps to combat it! Not to mention we have a God who forgives! Isn’t grace awesome?

Today I want to look at a few things concerning the first three enemies we identified.

• Pride - Many of us serve in online ministry whether through our blogs, websites, various social outlets, etc.  Online ministry does present us with a unique challenge when it comes to pride. Stats, hits, site numbers and followers really do have a place. Attention has to be given to these things (in moderation!!) to build an effective ministry. It is is when we give these things the first place in ministry that excellence quickly begins to diminish. Many of us may also serve in churches or in an extracurricular setting. The challenge here (as well as online ministry) is that those in leadership will often be “elevated” in the eyes of those they lead.

How can we serve humbly; serve God fully without serving our egos?

James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

This verse is telling us that if we submit voluntarily to our God, allowing ourselves to be corrected, allowing ourselves to be humbled, He will lift us up.

I wonder today how often we are in a posture of true, honest humility before the Lord.

Do we submit our wills to His voluntarily?

This is the mark of an excellent leader.

• Perfectionism – Pride and perfectionism tend to go hand in hand. The dangerous thing about perfectionism is that is causes use to serve through falsehood. No one is perfect!

I’ve found a surefire way to burn out fast in ministry is to pursue perfectionism as opposed to excellence.

Psalm 119:96 says it best, “To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands Lord are boundless.”

We do the kingdom the most powerful work when we recognize the limits of perfection and the boundless freedom of God.

• Complacency – This would be self satisfaction with an existing situation. For sure, a child of pride. However, complacency often masks itself. It has a tendency to quietly blow out the fire we once had for whatever it is we are doing in ministry. Often times, complacency will swoop in after a ministry begins to run effectively. We find that our hard work is finally reaping results, we have a system set up that is working well for us and suddenly…we stop progressing forward and start coasting at this new found comfort zone.

Complacency is dangerous for this very reason!

We begin to feel the “quiet pleasure or security” in our current state without looking forward.

I want to point out we are wise to not confuse being complacent as being patient! We may find ourselves in a season of ministry where the Lord really does ask us to stay put. There is nothing wrong with that! It is obedience to follow the Lord’s lead and do as He says.

However, patience is an active waiting. Complacency is not.

Complacency says, “I will stop right here because I am satisfied with myself.”

Patience always says ,”I will wait on the Lord because in Him I find satisfaction.”

We will find ourselves in seasons of waiting. Ministry ebs and flows. Some months we may find our stats or feedback is down and other months we may find them way up. When they are up and things are going well, we should never take that as our cue to get complacent.

Christ Jesus is about activity. His Spirit is continually on the move.

And if we want to be women who embed excellence into our ministries, our homes, our workplace, we need to make it our prayer that we come before Him with patience not complacence.

***

Each of the 3 enemies we discussed today are associated with pride. Let’s get proactive and tackle these enemies head on.

Ask the Lord to give you a humble spirit. We want to be women who humble ourselves before Him. Let us be women who readily submit our will to His own and accept His correction.

This next week as you lead, be on the lookout for opportunities to not only humble yourself before the Lord, but to surrender any areas of perfectionism or complacency.

Look for patterns that may present themselves. Do you notice you tend to get caught up in pride in a specific area of your leadership? Is there a friend or mentor you can turn to for accountability in how you handle this situation? Someone you can openly share your struggle with and pray with about it?

Leaders need to be able to confide in someone. Leadership is so often a lonely road. Everyone wants a piece of you and yet often no one takes the time to encourage you or befriend you on a more personal level.

If you do have a confidant you can confide openly in, do it! Share your heart, your leadership struggle and how you are going to turn this thing around with the power of the Lord on your side. If you don’t have someone right now you can easily share with, bring that need before the Lord. He knows how hard this job is!

Confide in the Lord your struggles and be encouraged by His grace and love.
Next week we are going to tackle working outside our giftedness and lack of boundaries: two very ugly enemies of excellence!

Until next time!

*I apologize for getting this up so late in the week! I injured myself earlier this week and it threw me off a bit! Next week, I’ll be right on time. Bright and early even.

For more in this series:

• Lessons in Leadership 1 – The Incredible Word
• Lessons in Leadership 2 – 5 Enemies of Excellence

Last week we talked about serving in leadership with an authentic heart. Tell me, how did your week’s challenge of focusing on any areas where you may have been offering those you lead nothing more than the word “incredible” go? I’m eager to hear if you picked up on any patterns!

This week I want to talk about serving in leadership with excellence.

I led a session on this last year at the Ministry Online: A Woman Inspired Conference. During my research for this particular session, Embedding Excellence, I came across the following verses:

• Proverbs 22:29 : “Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before unknown men.”
• Daniel 6:3 : “Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors… because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm.”

What do two things do these scriptures have in common?

• Serving with excellence
• Serving the king

Ladies, when we give the Lord our very best in leadership, He takes notice. These verses are speaking about earthly kings, but don’t doubt for a second that our Heavenly King doesn’t take notice as well!

I am reminded of the Parable of the Talents.

Are we living up to what has been entrusted to us?

Do we want to be a group of women who serve before THE King with a spirit of excellence?

I know I do!

I’ve made it a point to identify 5 major enemies of excellence leaders often struggle with. (I know there are more that could be pin-pointed. These 5 hit home the hardest in my experience.)

• Pride- pretty self explanatory
• Perfectionism – relying on ourselves instead of God
• Complacency – lacking a proactive approach
• Working Outside Our Giftedness – because we are capable of something does not mean we are called to do that very something!
• Lack of Boundaries – no clear boundaries? Excellence won’t last for long.

If you were to look at that list, which of these 5 enemies of excellence are you most likely to battle? How can you combat this struggle with the Word of God as your sword?

• Your challenge this week is to cultivate a spirit of excellence in the areas you lead.
• Ask the Lord to stir up an excellent spirit in you – that you would be faithful with what has been entrusted to your care.
• Identify which of these enemies of excellence you most struggle with and focus on praying that thing out of here!

Next week, we’re going to get a little more in depth on each enemy of excellence (a reason why knowing which is most likely to make an appearance in your own life will be beneficial) and how we can combat each one with purpose.

I’m so excited to get this ball rolling, ladies!

Other posts in this series:

• Offering Authenticity to Those You Lead
• Leadership Kick Off

Twelve or thirteen years ago I was invited to a leadership conference for students who exemplified (there’s that word again!) the potential to be leaders of excellence.

You’d think after spending 48 hours at a leadership conference I would’ve taken away much more than I did.

You know what the main lesson I learned that week was?

“If someone asks you how this conference was answer them with “Incredible!” and see what they do. You see, “incredible” is a word that was made for the vocabulary of a leader. If you answer this way they will want more details, be intrigued, and think you are on to something. Or if you had a horrible time, they’ll never be able to tell.”

What in the world?!

I sat there stunned that this was the epic piece of leadership pie we were being served during our formative years.

I looked at my friend Dan, who attended the conference with me, and we both whispered, “How...incredible.”

It was our running joke for years.

You see, I think if we aren’t careful the way we lead can become nothing more than words.

Take a look at Isaiah 29:13: “And so the Lord says,“These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.”

Rote being “memorization by repetition”.

It is very possible to come before the Lord with words that lack heart; and if that is the case, well, why wouldn’t we do the same before the people we serve?

The repetition of leadership – the day in and day out – has the potential to erode our authenticity.

Simply because when you’ve been there done that a million times before it is way easier to offer up some lip service than to really serve with heart. You’re more likely to serve out of the “memorization of repetition” than to serve as if this is the first time you’re encountering such a challenge.

As we start out this series, I want to challenge us to take a hard look at the things we say and the things we really mean.

You don’t have to serve in ministry for this leadership series to benefit you.

• If you are a Mom, you lead your children.
• If you are in the workforce, chances are you lead somehow – even if just in the conversation tone set at the water-cooler.
• If you serve in ministry, well, you lead by example.
• If you organize a book club or a girl’s night out, you’re probably gifted to lead and thrive when you do!

Tune in these next 10 weeks as we uncover how to lead in all areas of life with a Godly purpose and passion.

This week’s challenge is to get before the Lord in prayer and ask Him to reveal any areas where you may be offering those you lead nothing more than the word “incredible”.  Ask Him where you may be offering lip service as opposed to heartfelt and heart led leadership.

Let’s be a group of women who serve out of truth, authenticity and hearts connected to our Savior King.

I want to be a leader who is heartfelt in her quest to know Him more.

I pray the same for you.

To read the Lessons in Leadership Intro, click here.

This February I will be kicking off a 10 week series on leadership.

I will be expanding upon many of the points I discussed in my May session, Embedding Excellence,  from the A Woman Inspired’s Ministry: Online! conference.

If you were unable to listen in live or would like to hear the session again before the Lessons in Leadership series goes live, you can purchase the pack here.

While it is not necessary to hear the session for this series, it will be a great addition.

I will be touching on the following in this series:

• serving in leadership with excellence
• getting organized as a leader
• identifying your strengths as a leader (and on the flipside, your weaknesses!)
• growing as a leader
• 3 huge things I’ve learned as a leader
• resources for leaders
• and much more!

If you have any additional questions you’d like answered (as best as I can) in this series, I’d love to hear them! Leave your comments and questions below. I will try my hardest to answer each one.